We ended up in labor and delivery again this weekend, but we continue to not dilate or have any cervical change, and sweet baby Atlas remains active with a great heart rate so he gets to stay inside longer. Yay!
We are on bed rest for the next 4 weeks. Which means no Thanksgiving. Well, it means a different Thanksgiving.
The age old tradition has been to drive to Winfield, KS and visit extended family for several hours, eat too much, and drive home in a food induced comatose state. And the next day always had me putting up the Christmas tree and decorating, usually with a little help from curious pups.
This year will be different, quite possibly to prepare us for a lifetime of different once the little man arrives. While I am not looking forward to bed rest, I know it will be well worth it. I imagined myself running around getting things ready for the month of December and enjoying putting all of his tiny baby things together and in perfect order, you know being that awesome pregnant lady that goes on brisk walks, meets up with people at coffee shops and goes shopping for her bump. But the good Lord has a different plan. A more important one. And I'm ok with that. As Jerry Bridges says, "the Lord maneuvers our lives in such ways that we have to trust Him more."
I recently listened to a sermon that talked about the glory of the Lord, and how glorifying, or giving glory to something can be seen like introducing someone to a new song or band that you think is awesome. You talk and talk about how great it is, all the awesome parts of the chorus or bridge, the acoustics and harmony, that you finally just get out your phone, you tube it and play it for them. Say half way through the song, even though they've never heard it before, they try to sing along, or anticipate whats next. Or worse they just start talking while the song is still playing. They're not actually listening. They're not soaking up what is happening at all. I've been doing that. I've been trying to ascribe reasons for why our pregnancy has been so difficult, why our baby seems to want to come early, why my physical health has brought down my emotional health. Trying to anticipate whats next and why its next, and theres got to be a rhyme or reason that I can get insync with so I can be in tune for the next trial or joy. Thats not how it works, God doesn't need a rhythmn or a rhyme. He is. He is the one thing that remains. My life purpose is to display his abilities. His power, healing, sovereignty, goodness, Gospel. There is surprising freedom in that. Aaaaaaand I often forget it and don't live out of that freedom.
SO this Thanksgiving will be different. It won't be homemade foods and extended family. But it'll be Thanksgiving. Thankful for another week of the little booger growing inside, thankful for my sweet husband Jarrett, who has had the short end of the stick for far too long, and for family and friends who have been so supportive.
Our baby blinked at us when we last saw him. It might've been a wink. I'm not sure...
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